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The debate over the g-spot is never-ending. Does it exist? Is it important? Are you missing out on the best sex of your life if you don't touch it?
There are definitive answers to only a few of these questions, and it seems like every six months "new" research (in quotes because sometimes it's new and sometimes it's just upcycled) contradicts old research, and also promises to be the final word on g-spot science.
While the experts debate, why not do your own research, and get to the heart of the matter? It's your body. Research may tell you something about what others experience, no one can know exactly what it feels like to be you.
Whether you call it a spot or not, the area of your body that some people call the g-spot is no magic button. It's like any other part of your body, some people like when it's stimulated others don't.
Some people love having their earlobes licked and for others, it's a major turn off. If you're curious and ready to explore on your own, here's a roadmap. Stimulating the g-spot on your own requires some manual dexterity and flexibility. The instructions below guide you through doing it on your own, but of course, you can always have someone lend a hand.
Avoid Performance Pressure About the "Magic Spot"
If you become fixated on achieving a sexual goal (like multiple orgasms, simultaneous orgasm) you can create significant performance anxiety even if you're alone.
This is the best way to NOT enjoy any sort of sexual encounter. Remember that sexual exploration is mostly about the journey, not the destination. Try not to make this another notch in your sexually self-actualized belt.
Here are three ways to do it:
Your fingers are a great way to first identify and stimulate your G-spot, if only just so you’re fully aware of its exact location. To do so, insert two fingers into your vagina with your palm facing up, pointed toward your belly button. Curl your fingers up and gently stroke the top of the vaginal wall—when you feel a slightly ridged area, you’ve located the spot.
Move your fingers in a “come hither” motion, using your fingertips gently massaging the upper wall, and put direct pressure on the the spot until you’re rocketed into orgasmic bliss. If it’s hard for you to get your fingers in the exact position, don’t worry—this is where sex toys come in.
Sex toys can not only help you find your G-spot when your fingers can’t, but they also can stimulate something familiar—your clitoris—at the same time. This type of simultaneous stimulation can help you achieve a blended orgasm, which is both vaginal and clitoral. If this sounds like something you’d like to try out, the Nova by We-Vibe is an excellent toy to take you there.
What sets the Nova apart from other toys is the same thing that’s earned it it’s title of “Dual Stimulation Superstar.” In addition to a flexible internal shaft, the Nova also has an external clitoral tickler, which is expertly designed to flex as your body moves so it never leaves your clitoris (no one wants that when you’re about to climax). Ask anyone who’s tried it, this game-changing sex toy will quickly become your new go-to.
Being on top doesn’t just protect you from jackhammer sex, where the guy pounds you rapidly and misses your clitoris altogether—it also places you in an optimal position to stimulate your G-spot. When you’re riding a partner, you’re also able to add pressure to your clitoris, especially if you grind in a rocking motion. This is a surefire path to experiencing a knockout blended orgasm, and best of all, you’re in total control of taking yourself there.
Of course there’s no easy one-push button for G-spot pleasure, but anything worth having is worth working for.
Turn Yourself On
Any homework that starts with this is bound to be somewhat fruitful.
The spongy area around the g-spot gets engorged with blood when you're sexually aroused, so it is much easier to find and feel when you're turned on.
Get Comfortable and Find the G-Spot Area
Lie on your back, squat, or lie on your stomach. Place your palm face down on your vulva and slowly insert a finger into your vagina (use lubricant if you're feeling a little dry), crooking it forward in a "come hither" motion. When you're up to about the second knuckle you should feel a slightly bumpy or ridged area on the upper wall of your vagina.
Notice How the G-Spot Feels
The texture of the g-spot area will likely be noticeably different from the typically smooth walls of the vagina. When you're aroused it can expand, so feel it at different times during your arousal to get familiar with its contours and sensitivity. The g-spot responds to pressure, so press down and pull forward using that "come hither" motion with your fingers.
Explore the G-Spot with Toys
It can be awkward to stimulate the g-spot by hand. A g-spot vibrator or dildo can be a great helper in this. Apply a little lube to your toy, and insert it with the tip (if it's curved) pointing up toward the top wall of your vagina. Work it in slowly, far enough (a couple of inches) so the tip is pressing against your g-spot.
Experiment with Pressure and Motion
Some people find pressure against the g-spot pleasurable, others like the feeling vibration when a toy is pressing against the g-spot. Experiment and see if either feels good for you. For most people, the g-spot responds to firm pressure. In the beginning, use your toy as if you were trying to scratch an itch - don't pull the toy all the way out, but use short strokes, applying firm pressure, against the g-spot.
Vary the Movements
A circular or back-and-forth motion may be necessary to get you started, but you might soon graduate to a more vigorous thrusting. If you've got a vibrator, try playing with the vibrations both on and off to see which you like better.
Add Clitoral Stimulation to G-Spot Play
You'll know you're hitting the spot as you feel tingly sensations, the urge to pee, and an overall elevation in your arousal.
When you feel the urge to come, add in clitoral stimulation using your favorite method. Keep stroking your g-spot.
You can try more of our Sex Toys here.