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Good communication skills are a must-have in a relationship and the more connected we feel to our partners, the more we are able to enjoy intimacy with each other. However, sex is a subject that is not as popular and if it is, then only a few people understand what their partners want and how they want it when it comes to their sex dream.
There may be no blueprint or a one-size-fits-all model for how to communicate your ideal sex desire or sex dream but here are some suggestions worth trying out.
1. Talk straight - For you to be able to make your partner understand your sex dream, it calls upon you to be as specific as possible with things that excite you, or what you would like your partner to try out on you.
This is unlike the common trend where you tend to expect your partner to read your mind. For example, say "I like it when you run your fingers through my hair when we are making out" instead of saying "I like that thing you do to my hair when we are making out."
When you learn how to be open about what you like, it then becomes easier for you to share things that disgust or irritate you. This is because you create a safe space where you are all honest with each other.
2. Be Vulnerable - When you are willing to be completely vulnerable with your partner, there are a few things you should expect: either a blissfully romantic moment or a lot of conflicts. It's a paradox which you should be willing to confront. The ideal space for these kinds of conversations is where there is nojudgment as well as where curiosity is openly welcome.
This is because a lot of times when you bring up the topic of your sex dream, your partner will likely receive it as criticism for what they are doing and/or not doing to please you.
3. Plan - It matters how well you time for a sex conversation. Often times, we tend to discuss these matters during intercourse but this is not an ideal. Reason? Take into account the fact that your partner may not be in their best frame of mind. You want to get them when they are their reasoning, sane selves. This way, you can rest assured that whatever you share regarding your sex dream is going to be approached objectively and with keenness.
How about you take some time out and go for brunch and tell your partner about how you want more in foreplay? Well, there will be no kids yelling for help with homework, or phone calls to come in the way of the chat.
4. Ask the right questions - It is worth repeating the fact that assumptions are a no-no if you are bound to have a successful conversation about your sex dream. We live in a busy world where both women and men have become occupied with work or chasing career goals. Therefore, when an opportunity to talk comes up, be sure to ask for clarification where you feel you are uncertain or unsure about something.
We have pointed out some important points here; still we can discuss more in upcoming posts!